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[not_the_s]

For over a month, Scotty's words and the picture of Lex holding a bundle that he'd claimed was his baby brother had haunted him. Maybe this was what changed everything. Maybe this was what made Lex…evil. It was a scary thought and one he'd wrestled with quietly for a long time on his own. Normally, he would have had Cassie or Tim or even Bart to kick him into sense. Now he just had himself, so it took a little longer, but he got there in the end. He got to the determination that he'd just have to talk to Lex. Face his fears.

After he tracked the other man down.

It took him a few questions, but eventually he found the right door to knock on. He just hoped that someone answered.

Comments

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex was actually at home alone, Helen having already left to get the Club ready for the night. He'd been reading in bed, enjoying the peace and quiet since the rec room had started becoming toxic thanks to the jukebox and it's new love of musicals about board games. At least he now knew he hadn't imaged that too.

He was actually surprised to see Kon standing there. He hadn't exactly been avoiding Kon since he'd recovered from his break with sanity and found out about the drugs and his father, but he hadn't sought him out either. Disgust on Anatoly's face was one thing, disgust on Kon's would be another.

"Hello Kon," he said politely, though he didn't open the door any further, protecting himself more then anything.

[not_the_s]

Now that he was here, Kon wasn't sure what he wanted to say. "Can I just say," he started, when he realized just how stupid it was just standing there staring, "that I definitely don't want to meet daddy dearest? He sounds scary." What were you supposed to say to the guy who was your father but not quite him but the good version of him?

Well, he could start by pushing the door in and heading in with or without his permission.

"Speaking of which, rumor mill has been busy."

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex was unable to help the flinch that came with daddy dearest. He knew that was Kon's nick name for him and he didn't quite know what to think of that opening statement. So he didn't.

Instead, he opened the door wider as Kon pushed himself inside. "Come in, please." Lex said with light sarcasm, before closing the door behind him. "What rumor mill?" He asked before leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

[not_the_s]

"The rumor mill that says you're living here now and not with Anatoly." Kon turned back to Lex, finding himself in a similar position. "And don't give me that look. I meant your daddy dearest. Lionel. The one who was actually on the island."

His lips twisted a little. "I had a talk with someone who ran into him a while back."

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

"Well, you can see for yourself that the rumors are true. Helen has been more then generous to share her home with me while I figure out what to do with myself." In more ways then just a home but Lex didn't exactly want to reveal that much to Kon, so his face stayed completely nuetral as he spoke.

But then he couldn't help the amused smirk that erupted. "So I'd heard. Who was the unfortunate soul who had to deal with my father?"

[not_the_s]

"Scotty. Apparently they didn't do much but exchange hellos, but he recognized the name 'Luthor'." Kon shrugged a little. "We were at swim class and I...well, Scotty and Jack were wondering why I looked out of it." They were wondering why he was so upset and it all seemed to lead back to Lex nowadays. "You should have seen Scotty's face when I told him I hadn't hit double digits yet."

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex knew exactly why Kon would be looking out of it and he actually felt guilty. But he didn't quite know how to say it that would sound self involved so he didn't. "Poor Scotty. I'll have to find a way of making it up to him."

[not_the_s]

Kon kept having to bite his tongue because he did and he didn't want to say anything about what was going on. A large part of him just wanted to ignore it and go back to the way life was before. Even if Anatoly and Lex weren't together anymore. ...why weren't they together anymore?

"So. What's going on with step-dad?" Might as well face it head-on.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Back to the way things were. Lex didn't think that was ever going to be possible. Not after his father, the drugs and late night revelations on film.

In response to Kon's question, Lex just lifted an eyebrow. "I don't believe step dad is really the term for him anymore is it?" He said in a bored tone before shrugging. "And I'm afraid I don't know. I haven't seen him. We don't exactly keep in touch."

[not_the_s]

"Well, I don't know why. How's that? You say that he's not really my step-father and I don't have any idea why." Kon moved closer to Lex, really looking at him to try to judge whatever answer he'd be given. "So what happened? You two broke up. Want to explain it to me? And by 'want to' I really mean: Let's have it because I'm not going away until I hear the entire story."

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex just gave Kon a long look with a hint of a smirk. "Well Kon, when a Mommy and a Daddy decide they can't make a relationship work, they split up. Same things go for Daddies and Step-Daddies. And since that's the case, he's not your Step-Father anymore It's as simple as that." He scoffed a bit. "You didn't think there was anything silly like love involved did you?"

[not_the_s]

"Oh, anything silly like love. Right. When you two have been together for as long as I've been on this island. That's over a year, in case you haven't done the math." Anything silly like love. Well, at least he knew where he got the idiot gene from. Or at least he was pretty sure they'd been together that long. It'd been close, if not quite that long. He wasn't sure how long ago it'd been since he'd met Anatoly.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

"Yes Kon, we were together for a year. It's not unheard of for longer relationships to end for less. Certainly one of your friends came from a broken home? It's much more common these days sadly." He walked back over to the bed where he'd left his book and picked it up so he could properly mark his place. "I'm afraid it's as simple as that."

[not_the_s]

"Simple as what?" Kon turned only when Lex moved, keeping his body turned toward the other man. "You still haven't told me why you broke up. You're just making it seem as if you're trying to make me think that you don't love him." And really, Kon didn't believe that. Not after that long. Not after he'd seen them together and it was Anatoly who made Kon start believing that Lex was really different.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex sighed before he looked back at Kon. "I'm telling you the truth. It's not my fault your choosing not to accept it. Anatoly and I parted ways because it wasn't working. Love had nothing to do with it because there was no love to begin with, at least on my part. Alright?" He put the now marked book back down on his bed then sat down next to it. "I'm sorry there's no big break up story for your entertainment."

All of this was said with a complete straight face, just normal, relaxed Lex.

[not_the_s]

"No, it's your fault for not telling me the truth. A year, suffering through Thanksgiving with him, living together. And you don't love him." There was no way that Kon was going to believe that. He'd seen them together and if that wasn't love, he wasn't sure what was.

"And I'm not looking to be entertained. I'm looking to figure out what's going on." Because Lex still hadn't given him a good answer. Wasn't working? What did that mean?

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

"Kon. I've known people who have gone their whole lives married to people they don't love. Fuck, that's most of my father's business associates. One year is nothing." Lex replied, still not giving in. As far as Kon was concerned, nothing was wrong. Except he was getting tired of this conversation. "Is this all you wanted? Because I've said everything I'm going to say on the subject."

[not_the_s]

"Right," Kon said pointedly, "and you're so much like your father, aren't you?" He winced a little when he said it, but it was true. He was nothing like his father. As much as it would have pained Kon to admit it once upon a time.

"Look, I didn't come over here to argue." Even if it was what he'd ended up doing.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex's posture stiffened and he turned away to hide the slight sneer that passed his lips for a moment. He really didn't need Kon to further remind him that he couldn't get away from becoming his father, since the island was doing such a good job of it already. Hadn't he suffered enough by giving up Anatoly?

"So," He asked in a smooth voice that spoke of little patience, "If you didn't come here to argue, what did you come here for? Because alls you have done is insult me and accuse me of lying. I can't wait to hear why your really here..."

[not_the_s]

Kon stared at Lex for a minute, unable to give any kind of reply. "What? All I've done is try to figure out what happened with you and Anatoly because you still haven't said beyond 'it didn't work' . So, yeah. Sue me for thinking that you're not telling me everything. I haven't really…I've been…" He glanced away. "You had me worried, okay?"

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex had been prepared to go into another rant about how Kon was looking for reasons that just weren't there when he heard the catch in Kon's demeanor. He blinked in surprise for a moment, before turning to look back at the young man.

In hindsight, Lex really shouldn't have been surprised. He hadn't really talked to Kon about what happened, he really hadn't talked to anyone about it, except Dr. Devlin and that was touch and go at best with what he was willing to reveal. But it was still hard to accept that fact that people cared about him here. Not so much that it was hard to believe...he just tended to forget because besides Pamela and Clark, he'd never really had people like that in his life before and he wasn't used to it.

He sighed softly and took a step towards Kon. "Kon..." He said softly, his voice apologetic to make up for the apology he didn't really have the words for.

[not_the_s]

Kon shrugged a little. It wasn't like he had much of a family on the island. He had Cassie, but she was seeing someone else. He had Lex. He had Anatoly. That was it. "Look, you might hide yourself from Anatoly, which I'll continue to say is a mistake and you've never liked Cassie, which you'll continue to say, but..." But then there was him and where did he fit in?

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

His reasons for hiding from Anatoly were his own and he was not going to discuss them with anyone for the danger of Anatoly hearing and lessening his resolve. He was doing this to keep the Russian out of danger and that was that. And to be fair, Sandsmark had never given him much of a chance so why should he?

"But what Kon?" Lex asked with genuine interest, wanting to know exactly what Kon was asking before he answered.

[not_the_s]

"Nothing," Kon muttered, but the way he wrapped his arms around himself might have clued Lex in on the fact that he was talking about himself. He wasn't Lex's son, not this one, not really. Which meant that he didn't really fit into Lex's little world.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

And once again, Kon reminded Lex of his alien father and it made his heart hurt, missing that younger, less jaded Clark.

He sighed heavily before walking over to put a hand on the clone's arm. "Kon...shutting down on me isn't going to get us any farther in what I think we both want." He said softly and not unkindly. "And I don't want to presume...because presumption hasn't exactly worked for us far as it?" He added with a small smile.

[not_the_s]

"No, but you're going to anyway." The corners of Kon's lips twitched a little as if he'd wanted to smile but had repressed the reflex. What he never told anyone was that he had issues with parents. First Clark hadn't wanted him and then he did and then he found out about Lex and now there was this new, improved Lex. He wasn't sure what to think.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

"And what exactly am I presuming?" Lex asked with amusement as he raised a questioning eyebrow. He paused before continuing, "As I'm sure you can tell from what happened earlier in the year, the idea of fatherhood scares me because of the example I had. But I was trying, because I thought that's what you...we wanted. My leaving Anatoly hasn't changed that, Kon." It was a rare thing for Lex to lay himself out like that, and usually he only did so for a Kent. But he thought maybe Kon would stop shutting down if Lex let him a little.

[not_the_s]

"No? Then why won't you give me a reason?" Kon said softly. "All I wanted to know was why because...because..." He sighed. No, he wasn't going to tell Lex that. That they'd started to become this weird messed up family with Cassie not liking Lex, the feeling being mutual, but everyone loving Anatoly and the reverse being true, too. And now that it was over, things were...weird. He'd never been the child of a divorced household before.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

"And what would change if I did give you a reason, Kon?" Lex asked with a sigh. He was not going to tell Kon why, because he knew it would get back to Anatoly. He didn't want to sacrifice his relationship with Kon, which was coming to mean a lot to him since it was the only significant relationship he had on the island anymore, but if Kon only wanted to try because of Anatoly, then perhaps it wasn't meant to be. Lex was through jumping through hoops for people so they would trust him. "Because you can only bond with me if I'm with Anatoly? Why should it make any difference?"

[not_the_s]

"No, because I care about you both," Kon snapped. "Or did you think I had Thanksgiving dinner with you and Anatoly and Cassie over my best friend because I didn't care about you? Thanksgiving's about family and you two..."

He sighed. It was both of them. They were both family.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex pinched the bridge of his nose. They weren't getting anywhere at this rate. "I don't know what you want me to say Kon," He finally said with soft exasperated tone. "I want to call you family...but I don't think you trust me and I can't do that Kon." After growing up unable to trust Lionel and then the secrets that had always separated him and Clark...He just couldn't. "And I need you to trust me on Anatoly. Please."

[not_the_s]

"You three are my family," Kon retorted. He didn't mention how the Titans had been his family and look how well that had worked on the island. Tim had retreated into nothingness with Dick and Bart had been...Bart, but different. Bart, who'd dated Tim and hadn't stopped Kon from kissing him.

"And I'm asking because I think I'm a little old for the 'mommy and daddy don't love each other but we both still love you' speech." He turned to head for the door. "But fine. I get it. If you don't want to call me family, you don't have to."

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

And Lex didn't mention how Lionel was technically family. All the reason why that wasn't a good enough reason.

"And you never answered my question Kon. Is it really that hard?" He asked sarcastically to Kon's retreating back. "You are definitely Clark's son. So stuck in your own moral platitudes that your not listening to a word I'm saying. But fine. Walk out." It wasn't like Lex wasn't used to seeing Clark's back after an almost identical argument.

[not_the_s]

"Didn't answer what? Your question? Yes. I did! Now who's the one that's not listening." Kon turned around again, back stiffening. "We're family. Of course I trust you. I'd still be at arm's length and glaring at you every time I saw you if I didn't." Never mind that he was glaring right now. Right now wasn't the point.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

Lex resisted the urge to close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose again. As it was, he returned Kon's glare with a level look of his own. "We were having the same conversation with different words. Family...doesn't always mean trust, or have you forgotten who we began this conversation with?" He made his point by reminding Kon of Lionel. "But...I do appreciate knowing you trust me Kon. It means...quite a bit." More then Kon could guess.

[not_the_s]

"Your family," Kon retorted. "We weren't talking about your family were we? We were talking about mine. Me. Ma and Pa Kent. Clark and Lois. Well, my Clark and Lois. Tim, Bart, Cassie, Cissie, Greta, Reddie. And now you and Anatoly." Funny how sometimes it felt like he didn't have any family at all until he named all of them.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

"Using your family to convince me doesn't exactly disprove my point." Lex pointed out, unamused with this conversation now. "The Kents from my universe didn't trust me, no matter how hard I tried to prove them wrong. Mr. Drake threatened me the moment I woke up in the clinic after the plane crash that brought me here. And Miss Sandsmark can't stay in the same room with me." And Clark hadn't trusted Lex on the island either but that was a bit too painful to bring up.

[not_the_s]

"Actually, if you'll remember, it wasn't you who made her leave during Thanksgiving. And that's not the point. I trust them because they're my family. It doesn't matter if they trust you. My family I trust." He pointed a finger at Lex. "You're a part of my family. Tell me what logic then implies."

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

"The only logic I can come up with is that neither of us follow the same dictionary when it comes to words like family and trust." Lex said with a small breath of relief. "But I think we have an understanding now. We're family and we trust each other. That's all that matters." He raised an eyebrow as if questioning if Kon felt the same.

[not_the_s]

"Exactly!" Good. He got it. It didn't look like he was getting the question of Anatoly answered today, though. Well, he was persistent. He was definitely going to find out what was going on eventually.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

If Kon found out, it wasn't going to be from Lex. And since Anatoly didn't know why Lex left...it wasn't going to happen.

But at the moment, Lex just smiled with relief. "Thankfully we are on the same page. And I'm alright, no more loosing my mind." For the moment anyway. "Now...I think this is where you give your father a hug?" He asked with a lighter smile, holding out one hand.

[not_the_s]

"No. I don't want to have to come find it. It'd be all tarnished and everything when I was done." Kon tapped his head. "Just like my halo." He hesitated a fraction when Lex mentioned hugging. Had they gotten to hugging, already? Maybe, maybe not, but he definitely wasn't going to refuse a hug, even if it was weird. He moved closer and tentatively wrapped his arms around Lex.

[capable-of.livejournal.com]

It was a big thing for Lex to ask for, since he didn't normally like people touching him. But he wasn't going to let Kon know that and it was oddly something he really wanted. "I know neither of us are good at this, but we'll figure it out."

[not_the_s]

"Good," Kon said softly, glad that things were sort of okay for now at least. That was something, wasn't it?