(no subject)

[not_the_s]

There was something about watching the waves that was just peaceful. At least it was usually peaceful. Now he just remembered coming out here with Wallace to talk. That talk had ended with a kiss and it hadn't been Wallace doing the kissing. Then, if he hadn't known better - and he swore he knew better - there was Wallace trying to make him jealous at the next party. It was frustrating and he was half tempted to go head down to Tim's old gym and start at the punching back for a little while.

That was probably a bad idea. Still, it made him feel a little better.

He could go surfing, but he didn't really feel like it. Or hang gliding. He could go hunt down one of the girls or Bart, but being with Cassie when he was definitely not moping was a bad idea and Cissie and Bart would have too many questions.

Really, he had no idea what he wanted to do and he kicked at the sand a little. Damn it, he didn't like feeling like this and he refused to admit why he was. Because he kind of liked Wallace and he had been jealous. He didn't need more screwed up relationships, women or men.

Comments

[not_the_s]

"Yeah, because my love life has been so very simple, Xander." He kicked at the sand. "I mean, come on. I've been mooning over Cassie for...how long now?" And, okay, second guy crush. He wasn't even sure Tim counted. It was...Tim. Did Tim count?

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"So...is it because your still hung up on her?" He raised his hands, fending off another defensive answer. "Hey, I'm just trying to get a clear picture here, so I can try and help. Don't bite the helping guy."

[not_the_s]

"It's because of a lot of reasons. If it were just one 'I'm not gay' or 'I'm not over my ex', I wouldn't be...this." And this sucked. "That lot more that I did? I tried to seduce Bart. To get back at Tim for being so distant."

His lips curled a little in a sneer at himself. "It worked, too."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"Really? That doesn't really sound like you man. The whole seduction thing." The sexual confusion sure but he just didn't see Kon coming between his friends like that. "Okay so...how do you feel about the both. Your ex and this other "person"".

[not_the_s]

"It wasn't, that's the point. It was one of those 'island goes crazy' days. I guess…" He hesitated. "I guess I was kind of acting like Luthor. My version, not Lex. Cassie is...I love her."

He closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. "I love her, but there's just so much history between us." He rolled his eyes a little at the 'person' remark. "Fine. Wallace. Happy? I don't know. I like him. He's fun. But he's so damn pushy and he doesn't get that every time I think about...anything regarding him--" sex "--there's a lot of crap that goes along with it."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"Ah. I think I know the one you mean." And Xander could hear hyena laughter in the back of his brain. "But it was the island. That means it doesn't count...right?"

"Wallace. Don't know him, but it's nice to have a name other then 'person'." And he meant it innocently as he really hadn't wanted to pry but it was getting ridiculous. Like when Willow and Buffy made up nick names for the guys they thought were cute so they could have conversations about them in class. Xander never could keep them straight. "So... your in love with Cassie and your confused about 'crap' with Wallace. I guess...I guess you have to ask yourself which you want more and go for it. Because a head ache over one has to be better then a headache over both, right?"

[not_the_s]

"Tell Cassie that. She blamed me back then. It's why she broke up with me." Or at least he was pretty sure that she blamed him. She didn't trust him, that was sure. "I don't even know if I want to go for it. Either of them."

It wasn't like him to be so unsure, but it had been a very long time since he'd had reason to be. It was kind of hard to be unsure about how Tana had broken up with him and it was so easy dating Cassie. It had been easy dating Cassie. Maybe that was the part he really hated. It had been so easy and he didn't want to let that go, but things weren't so easy anymore.

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"Seriously? That sucks dude. Doesn't she know how the island works?" That just...didn't make sense to Xander. No one had blamed him for acting like any animal, even when Jill and Spike really had every reason too.

"Then I don't know what to tell you man. Besides tell them both that 'just friends' is the only option at the moment and cut you some slack." He shrugged. "And if they're worth the headache, they should." It was really the only thing Xander could think of. Because if they stood by Kon when he needed the space, then he'd have a better idea of what to do, in Xander's opinion.

[not_the_s]

"I guess." It wasn't really an answer he couldn't have come to himself, but there was no easy answer. It was this or be told to 'go kiss him' or 'go make up with her'. He was pretty sure that no one was going to have those answers for him. So, in the end, Xander was right. He just had to wait and see if one or the other gave him some slack.

"But her I ignore and him I treat like shit, so I guess I've made my own mess."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

If Xander could, he would have told Kon one or the other. But the only one who could determine which was best was Kon himself.

"Oh believe me. Any mess can be cleaned up. I should know, I make them without even trying." Xander replied with a self deprecating smile. "So, spend time with her and be nice to him. At least it's an easy fix?"

[not_the_s]

Kon suspected it wasn't as easy as that. The more time he spent around Cassie, the more she seemed to be trying to attract his attention and the nicer he was to Wallace, the more he seemed to be thinking that Kon was trying to lead him on instead of just being confused.

He was in between a rock and a hard place and he hated being there.

"Yeah, definitely."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

But Kon was the only who could get himself out. Xander knew that from experience.

He reached out and gripped Kon's shoulder. "I don't know if I any help, but if you ever need to talk again, you can always come find me. I don't know if I can help, but at least you can let it out."

[not_the_s]

Kon smiled a little. "Thanks. I appreciate it. I could use all the help I could get."

Of course, all the talking in the world wouldn't help once he was face to face with either Cassie or Wallace. He supposed he would just have to figure it out as he went along.

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"Anytime man. Being between two people you care about...its not easy. I was only spared because one disappeared." And he still missed Clark, even if him disappearing meant Xander had had a chance with Spike. "And I know you don't want that."

He squeezed Kon's shoulder and made to stand up again.

[not_the_s]

Kon winced. Sometimes he could forget about Xander and Clark. Mostly because it was really weird to think of Xander with the guy that was basically his dad. Then again, it was weird to think of a Clark who wasn't much older than he was as a dad. Funny, since Lex couldn't have been much older, either. ...how old was Lex? Oh well.

He shot Xander a small smile. "Yeah, thanks, man."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

Xander just didn't think about it. Period. It had been weird enough being in the middle of it. Lex catching him holding hands with Clark had been...well, not a high point of his island life.

"Anytime." He said again with an answering smile before giving Kon a small wave as he turned to go.